July 4th Competitive Hot Dog Eating
You may have heard of this new thing called “competitive eating.”
OK, it’s not really a new thing. It’s been going on for a couple decades, but it’s only reached its peak recently, with the emergence of a competitive eating GIANT: A scrawny Japanese man whose ribs you can see through his skin.
Yeah that’s right. Arguably the world’s last remaining normal-size people OWN all of our fat asses at what we do best — chowing down hot dogs.
People have been stuffing their faces for centuries, but it wasn’t until Kobayoshi came around that it really took off as a competition. And in traditional American fashion, if we get too old and fat to compete anymore, we’ll park our butts in front of our HDTVs and watch other people stuff their faces.
Hell, they even put it on ESPN.
A little sickening to post this on July 4th, the day more wieners are shared with family and friends than any other? (And we’re not talking about Rep. Anthony Wiener.)
Just like like with democracy, business and baseball, we’ve lost our title as the world’s biggest big eaters.
But you can’t lie, this looks pretty tasty, doesn’t it?
So do us a favor this July 4th — relive America’s glory days, and challenge your family members to a hot dog stuff-in of your own.
Happy July 4th!